the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
