I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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