Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
i think i just lost a toe
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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