im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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