Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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