i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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