I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
