He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
