Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(775): View more from Nevada

No, you can still breathe under the balls.

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(585): View more from New York

Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.

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(909): View more from California

According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack

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(818): View more from California

he made a bald eagle out of coke lines

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(+65): View more from

Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.

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(607): View more from New York

You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick

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(661): View more from California

Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?

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(420): View more from

Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.

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(770): View more from Georgia

I have to touch the horse lube. :-(

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