It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
