I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
