I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
