i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
