i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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