How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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