Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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