I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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