I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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