My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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