her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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