i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
