Just fell off a train. Bad.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I think people are normalizing furries
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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