I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
