Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
