How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
