He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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