everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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