The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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