I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...