just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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