I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize