Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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