PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
