I cannot find my penis.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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