omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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