dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
