brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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