okay pat passed out under dana's car
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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