It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
