glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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