On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
