Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
You can't just leave with hair like that
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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