I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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