More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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