Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
