he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
