dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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