I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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