Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize