sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
