I wish I only lived at night.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
