No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
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