it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
