Can i not drive my cunt home
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
