She said her name was "party"
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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